Part two of the Ouch! series.
So, here I am, about to go into week two of the pain management course! Week one went better than expected and I think it will be useful to learn why my body is randomly telling me I’m in pain. I don't want to misrepresent what happened at the pain clinic, but there was one point when I was extremely grateful that my sister was not in the room. We have a proven track record of getting the giggles at the wrong time and there’s no way we would have got through this moment unscathed. As the whole group “pretended to move like they were seaweed in the water” I dutifully joined in with the activity while staring at the floor, and repeatedly said to myself “this is not funny… this is not funny!”
Spoiler alert: a room full of adults pretending to be seaweed moving in the water is objectively funny.
I kept my composure!
You would have been proud!
As I mentioned before, I don't want to put anybody off attending one of these courses or misrepresent what happened there. The seaweed moment was brief and had a clear purpose pointing to the reality that movement plays a critical part in the management of pain. After the general introduction and an outline of the upcoming sessions, we had the opportunity to talk to one another. I will not betray any confidences, but it was fascinating to hear the stories of a group of people experiencing pain and fatigue. Some have been described as lazy, attention seeking, over sensitive, weak, and most carried a huge sense of guilt that they couldn’t just “get on” with things. Despite these negative descriptors, this group of so-called “feeble and fragile” people had all got themselves up and dressed and turned up to a nine-week course to do everything they could to get better. Many of them, like me, just wanted to find a way to stop their health condition impacting their life. Despite the obstacles, they were willing to try anything…even “sitting tall like a meercat” (I didn’t mention that one before as I thought I’d ease you in gently)!
I’m writing this on a Sunday morning, sat at home and missing church!
I woke up this morning ouchy all over and knew that a tough day was ahead. My church are lovely about my unreliability but there are times, like today, where I find the unpredictable nature of the illness upsetting.
Even I thought, “you were fine yesterday, what’s wrong with you?”
It got me thinking!
How many people sit in our churches every week and experience pain and/or chronic fatigue?
How many sit in a place where they should feel loved and supported but instead feel like they’re letting everyone down?
How many don’t say yes to opportunities to serve just in case they have a flare up which means they can’t fulfil their commitment?
How many have tried to be part of the church but now have a reputation as being unreliable or flaky?
How many could continue to feel part of the church and contribute if there were a few tweaks and adjustments made to the normal way of doing things?
How many leaders silently struggle with these symptoms, trying to keep it all together so that they "don't let anyone down"?
If it wasn’t for the grace and understanding of the event leaders, then I would not have been able to attend the Yorkshire School of Christian Arts this year. I gave them every opportunity to uninvite me from the start. I outlined the various ways I could potentially let them down and how I couldn’t guarantee that my health would play ball at the right moments. Instead of giving me platitudes like “I’m sure you’ll be okay”, they put clear strategies in place. They sought out times for additional naps, streamlined my role so that I could focus on what was important and ensured that there was cover for every session I was involved in. I knew I was supported, and it made a world of difference. In fact, their preparation meant that, on the week, I barely needed to use the additional support they had in place. I wasn’t carrying the guilt and worry of letting people down, because I knew there was a back up plan in place at all times.
This was invaluable and if you have someone at your church like me, then I’d ask that you take the time to chat to them about how they can stay active rather than withdrawing their involvement. We’re not looking for special treatment, in fact most of us are horrified by the thought of it, we just need a little extra support.
I had a great week at YSCA!
It wasn’t great because my illness magically disappeared and I “managed to make an effort because it was something I wanted to do”.
I had a great week at YSCA because there were things in place to help me navigate the packed timetable and I was surrounded by prayerful support.
I pray that others in the same position as me will be able to continue serving in church if that's what they would like to try and do. Not everyone will feel the same, but with a little grace and understanding we can all feel part of our church and use the gifts God has given us for his glory!
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
(Colossians 3:12-15 NLT)
Written by Kay Moorby
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