Grief is a demanding little so-and-so!
I’m aware that this is a Christian blog, so I’m doing my best to moderate my language, but grief is flipping annoying sometimes...most of the time actually!
It grabs your attention at the most inconvenient moments!
It plays games, leaving you dry-eyed on an important anniversary and descending into sobs at a random advert on the TV.
It’s great at guilt trips, whispering, “You should have moved on by now.”
It offers bizarre words of comfort like “at least she had a good innings,” as if that makes any difference.
It interrupts day-to-day life, disturbing your work and stealing your concentration.
Although it eases over time, I’ve seen in the tears of others whose loved ones left many years ago, that it never really goes away…and I’d quite like it to go away now!
Loss seems to be all around me at the moment.
We’re losing Dad in slow motion, and in a few days, we will lose our childhood home.
The memories will remain, but the physical place that signified our life together will become the home of a new family.
Yes, it’s all part of life, but it’s a part of life I’d like to skip…if possible!
I haven’t written a blog for ages, as grief seems to be the only topic that keeps popping up.
Who wants to read endless grief posts?
Part of the reason I’m writing this today is with the hope that I can move on and write about something else. By moving on, I only mean with my writing!
I get that you never move on from grief; you just work around it!
It’s only a year, and many a grief podcast has told me this is no time at all, but I’m just not a fan of this grief malarkey!
This is a stupid statement, as no one is,
but,
I just keep thinking,
I can’t be the only one who feels like this.
Thousands of people are dealing with some kind of grief every single day, and we’re all just muddling along, making the best of it. Our grief is surrounded by different circumstances making each experience unique while a common thread remains…loss.
There’s a deep sense that someone is missing from our lives, and there’s absolutely nothing we can do to bypass the grief that remains. On days like today, I don’t even think I want to do anything about it other than recognise it’s there, have a little (big) cry, and crack on.
Our Mum’s died, and it’s pants, and it will be pants for a while!
There are no big words of grief wisdom from me today, just a recognition of all those who are grieving and feel alone in that grief.
You’re not alone.
There are loads of us, and we get it!
To make me feel better about my random grief ramblings, I shall leave you with a question from a writer far more talented than me and a promise that there are sunnier blogs on the way!
“Aren’t all these notes the senseless writings of a man who won’t accept the fact that there is nothing we can do with suffering except to suffer it?”
C.S Lewis
Written with love to all those who are grieving.
Kay Moorby
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