Part eight of the Ouch! series.
Week 8 at pain clinic was all about sleep.
As someone who often struggles with sleep, I felt like a bit of a lightweight insomniac when it was time to share ideas about how to sleep better.
Here are some of the group’s suggestions:
Tape your curtains to the wall to block out the light.
Turn off every single appliance so no standby lights are visible in the room.
Establish strict rules about when to stop eating in an evening
Don’t watch anything scary on the TV…in fact, don’t watch the TV after 10 p.m.
Ban all caffeine
Turn on a starlight machine (you may need to steal this from your child’s bedroom or pick one up from a charity shop like one of the group members did!)
Play white noise
Play brown noise (I’d never even heard of this)
Listen to the most dull audiobooks available
Pin yourself down in bed with a weighted blanket
Contact the council to get them to add a shade to the streetlamp outside your bedroom window.
There were so many more suggestions than this, but you get the idea!
There was one lovely lady who shared an even longer list of strategies she uses, and she gets, on average, one and a half hours sleep a night!
I now consider myself a fairly good sleeper!
There is however, one thing that can absolutely destroy any hope of a good night’s sleep for me…WORRY!
Once a little old thought catches hold in my brain then there’s a significant chance I’ll be watching the hours tick by, waiting for the birdsong to commence. My brain loves to have a good ruminate on a topic of concern. I can run imaginary conversations or play out a number of possible scenarios assessing in intricate detail how the situation will get worse. I can even worry about the fact that worrying is stopping me from sleeping and get annoyed with myself that I’m a worrier!
Meanwhile, my husband, and Watson our Old English Sheepdog, are both fast asleep!
I know that worrying is a waste of time. We’re not meant to spend our nights (or days) worrying as it is totally unproductive. This is backed by extensive research, highlighted in a book I recently read by Brene Brown. In ‘Atlas of the Heart’, the first chapter is aptly titled “Places we Go When Things Are Uncertain or Too Much”. Brene talks about the two most common responses to anxiety: worry and avoidance!
Leaving avoidance for now (oh the irony) Brene highlights how worry is not an emotion. Instead, research shows that worry is the thinking part of anxiety.
“Worry is described as a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future.”
Brene Brown
Sound familiar?
Brene Brown’s research discovered that those of us who tend to worry can often have faulty beliefs about its usefulness.
We believe that worry is, in some strange way, helping us…it is not!
We believe that it is uncontrollable, so we don’t try to stop it.
We often try to suppress our worrying thoughts which actually strengthens and reinforces the worry.
So, what should we do instead?
Brene Brown suggests that we need to dig into the emotion that is driving the worry. When I read this, it was reassuring to know that I had already started trying to implement this strategy.
I love reading the Psalms and there are examples throughout of people digging into their emotions and naming them.
Sorrows fill my heart as I feel helpless, mistreated – I’m all alone and in misery.
(Psalm 25:15 TPT)
I’m exhausted! My life is spent with sorrow,
My years with sighing and sadness,
Because of all these troubles, I have no more strength.
(Psalm 31:10 TPT)
My eyes of faith won’t focus anymore, for sorrow fills my heart.
(Psalm 6:7 TPT)
I am burdened and broken by this pain.
(Psalm 69:29 TPT)
There are so many more examples than this, endless moments where people named their emotions and presented them to God. When our hearts are filled with worry, we need to dig deep for the underlying emotion, but we don’t need to do it on our own.
A while ago I was given a valuable piece of advice by a wise spiritual mentor as she pointed me to the words of Philippians 4:6. She suggested that when worry is stealing my sleep then I should convert it into prayer.
Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything.
Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.
His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7 NLT)
When I do this, I’m still awake…I’m still not getting the rest I need…but instead of wasting precious moments locked in worry I’m digging deep and converting rumination into prayer!
It will shock and surprise you to hear that I didn’t offer this gem of advice at pain club. I’ve always been open with the group about my faith, but this felt like a suggestion too far!
I can share it with you though.
When we’re caught up in worry, we can convert it to prayer and the peace of God will still our mind and (hopefully) help us drift off to sleep. And if it doesn’t, then we are still in a much better place than laying wide-eyed and full of anxiety.
Now, because of you, Lord, I will lie down in peace and sleep comes at once,
for no matter what happens, I will live unafraid!
(Psalm 4:8 TPT)
Kay Moorby
One final thing, I’ve been listening to this song of peace over and over (I've probably shared it before)!
I hope you find it useful.
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